Yes it was one of those days yesterday. One where I"m feeling sorry for myself, feeling very old, unloved and just blue. Then to top it off I got some bad news at work - so I just was blue, blue, blue - and blue isn't my color!!! :o
Anyway, the teens in my house are on one of those spurts where they just hate mom and anything to do with mom - well that isn't so abnormal I know. But for some reason my hormones (or something) just seemed to not be able to brush it off so easily so I was feeling just a bit unwanted and sad. I love my kids so much - so what did I do so wrong that they are just so rude to me. And of course I would just love to give them a big hug and cuddle - but at 13, 16 and 17 - like they would let me do that!!! Anyway, nothing major, just my "mood" getting the best of me.
Well then I woke up yesterday morning and knew we had some talks at work about retirement. Two sessions - one for people who wanted to retire within 10 years and one for people who are going to retire after 10 years. So that gets me to thinking. Hmmmm, I've been with this company for 21 years - ughhh that sounds bad. And then I start thinking - geez, if I have to wait to retrire to get full benefits I have to work here another 22 years! No that sounds even worse! Doesn't it almost seem like a waste to do similar work at one place for 43 years - that just kind of blows my mind. Made me feel like I would never make 43 years in the same industry, but also old because the thought of changing jobs and even looking just seems so scarey. I'm comfortable in my job. I like my work, LOVE my boss, and have built up great vacation time and flexible hours to work around the kids. Not so bad - but the drive stinks, I drive about 2-1/2 to 3 hours a day round trip - that really stinks. And just the thought of another 22 years working with young fresh out of college brains - gosh that is just a bit intimidating. OK - you get the picture of where my brain was on this subject yesterday morning.
So I get into work and am greeted with a ton of major issues first thing. I've been doing a lot of global work lately, so of course Europe is already well into their day and trying to wrap things up just as I'm getting in about 6:30/7:00am. So I"m working away with problems the minute I step in the door. Then to top it off there are a multitude of "internal" fights over some "bad data" in my dept. I'm stuck in the middle. Each side was swearing it was the other persons problem to fix. I really didn't care - I just needed the fixed data.
So about this point I"m just needing to vent. My boss who I love working for, walks by and asks how it is going. So I laugh, tell him not to worry, but I was going to "vent" on a few things just to feel better. So I tell him whats going on. He then proceeds to say, "hmm, we should talk later. There are going to be some changes in the dept that are going to effect you and Bob (ficticious name). We should probably get this straightened out before that happens." So I"m looking at him with wide eyes, I just know what is coming - but how can he say that and then walk away and leave me wondering! So I say "I'm not going to like this news am I". He says, "oh it isn't so bad as it could be". Great, just great I'm thinking. Come on just tell me. So he says, I have someone waiting downstairs for me, but ok I'll take 10 minutes and give you a quick fill in. So yes, my worst fears were voiced - there are going to be more re-orgs in our dept (I can't even count how many we have had over the last 5 years - continual major changes around here lately) and I once again will have a new boss. One that I've had a before (twice) over the last 21 years. He is ok, but compared to my current boss - STINKS. He only hears what he wants to hear, and only deals with what he wants to - lets the rest fall on me. And I get all his GARBAGE work. Anything he doesn't want to deal with, or anything that he feels is beneath him goes to me. Great, Just Great. Just what I need. I just wanted to cry. Well ok, in fact I did after I left my boss's office, but hey, by this time I'm feeling so deafeated. So I ask my current boss what he thinks could be worse - he laughs and says - ok they wanted to put you under your last boss who I really, really, really hated. In fact most people in the dept hate him - I won't even get started on that. So OK - I see his point. He fought to get me in this new developed group that actually my skills and knowledge can fit into in a strange sort of way, and I love and work well with 2 out of the other 3 people (Bob is the 3rd) - there will just be 4 of us and then this new boss in the new group. So ok, that is better than the alternative. And he made it clear to our new head of the department that my last boss CANNOT, he repeated cannot go in this new group with me. So he did fight a battle for me, but I'm just so bummed.
So no quilting chatter today - and sorry for the long winded whine, but you know, sometimes you just have those days - and yesterday was one of them. I think it was Darcie who mentioned awhile ago that she can chat about other things besides quilting. And my thought was - boy am I boring or what - I can't. Quilting is like my only sunshine in my life. It is what keeps me "up" and something totally trivial to love. So how could she do that?
Well, here you go - no quilting chat - but is sure is one of those tiny violin stories. Hope you all decide to visit my blog again after this post!
Oh and I did find 2 pictures of Wine and Cheese fabric!